Drowning Timmy

It amazes me the ability we have as people to function day to day, and the variety of people that do and don't seem to master the most common of common sense.

For example.... I work with a young African American woman who is very savvy, very street smart and very quick to pick up on any instruction offered for the position we do, which by the way is an ever changing and ever shifting set of corporate rules that practice a flexibility only rivaled by the numerous branches of organized religion. She is a joy to work with because if she does not understand something she is gutsy enough to step up and ask whoever is near, be they support desk analyst or CIO of the corporation.

At the other end of the spectrum is another co-worker from a different department. We will call her co-worker number two. Approximately the same age group as the first, same ethnic background and make up and yet co-worker number two is very, well... blond. Not her hair but her personality. Now I do not say this lightly being a blond myself, but...gods love her she is very blond.

Case in point: Co-worker number two came to our department frantic and distraught. She explained that her 9 year old daughter is out of town this week and will be returning this weekend and that she (co-worker number two) had brought her daughters precious (and smelly) pet turtle to work with her today to let it "out" for awhile and to get a "bath".

Let me explain....we have beautiful cut stone koi ponds between the two office buildings that make up our complex with many exotic and colorful koi. Recently the building management has added a couple of water turtles, large and small to the mix for variety and for the amusement of the buildings inhabitants as they sit outside and smoke or talk or whatever on the wooden benches, tables and chairs they have provided.

Co-worker number two wanted "Timmy the turtle" to air out...stretch his legs a little and try to wear off the smell he seemed to languish in at home. As she explained the situation she confided in us that when she put "Timmy" into the koi pond he sank to the bottom and she has not seen him since. She thought he would enjoy the pond like the other turtles, maybe make some friends and then she would simply retrieve him when her shift was over and take him home to a clean atrium. Kind of like turtle day camp.

It was at this point I looked at co-worker number one, and co-worker number 3 (a very savvy and quick witted brunette *nods*) and tried to convey with my eyes my concern over Timmy's well being. Not to mention how were we supposed to break the news to co-worker number two that not -all- turtles can swim? She pleaded with us to keep an eye out for the mischievous and wayward pet, and to please "let her know if he surfaces" ....

We did not have the heart to tell her that poor Timmy is most likely in a far better place where there is no smell to offend the senses.

The difficult part? How do we explain to co-worker number two that there are box turtles and terrapins, and that sometimes beloved pets have ill fated accidents at the hands of their well meaning owners?

Do we gently take her aside and tell her she offed her kids turtle and she should spend her evening hours praying his twin resides in a neighborhood pet store?

How will she explain that mommy was just trying to let Timmy play with some new friends and she didn't know he couldn't swim?

We were amazed that a grown woman didn't seem to know that there is more than one kind of turtle...and yet perhaps she has never had a turtle before? Maybe where she grew up they didn't have turtles? No public television...no Animal Planet?

Somehow, I think the 9 year old will take the news about Timmy far better than her mother.

I vote we tell co-worker number two we saw Timmy beating feet for the freeway, a little sign on his tuckous that said "California or bust!"

Good luck to you Timmy, wherever you may be, I cannot help but think you might be better off After all, it was only a matter of time before the Fabreeze came into play....